[Nihilio]

Είδος: τρόμος
Βία; Ναι
Σεξ; Όχι

I was running through the woods at a frantic pace. My lungs were like they were going to burst. Watching it in horror movies seemed like fake, yet this one was the real thing. Me and Rianna running to escape a psychotic killer.
It was supposed to be a peaceful weekend with just the two of us in a cabin in the mountains. Yet, like all the horror movies it all started with a mad old man warning us of the killer the moment we got off the car. We ignored him and took our way towards the cabin. It was about two miles further in the mountain and we had to take a long path to get there. It was not hard to get there, as we were both in a hurry so we did not lose some of our precious time together.
The day went on peacefully, with us two lovebirds having a good time. Night fell and with astonishment we realised the generator was not working. Although I was a male, Rianna was the good with engines. She took a flashlight and went down to the basement to check it.
A scream of terror startled me and I went down the basement. There, I saw Rianna trembling and pointing at something. Upon closer examination it was a human corpse. A skinned one to be more precise. I tried to calm her, but then a window glass broke from upstairs and set us both running like crazy.
I did not know what was more frightening: Our having a murderer on our heels or the fact we were alone in the woods. Was it only the peril we felt the cause of our fear or it was the moonlit forest, dismissing the impression we were at the top of the food chain, invulnerable to any harm. Yet a predator in human guise was after us.
We finally got to the car. Rianna was frantically searching for the keys in her pockets, while I was on the lookout: In every horror movie the psychotic mass murderer was prowling at his victims somewhere around the car. I looked inside the car, yet he was not there. I looked under it and it was clear. I looked around and there was no trace of our pursuer.
Rianna found her keys and open the door. She got in and tried to start the engine. Then, as every horror movie cliché dictated, a masked figure jumped in front of the car. He was wearing a hooded jacket and holding a bloody knife. He tried to get to Rianna, but she, in a moment of panic, started the engine and stepped on the gas. With a screaming sound the car started and hit the hooded figure. He was thrown back and was impaled on a tree. His mask fell and we saw it was the old man that warned us upon our arrival.
***
Rianna was having a shower. She had to relax after the shock she felt. I would not blame her. Nor would anyone else, I guess. After all no one would imagine the old man was paid so he would do her a prank. And no one would blame her for killing him in self-defense: She had seen her boyfriend skinned by this inhuman beast.
Now it was my turn to remove my human guise: the skin of Bobby Richards was of no use to me. The rest of him was somewhere in that cabin up in the mountains. All this time I longed for the smooth beautiful skin of Rianna Jackson and now it was the time for the taking. I switched off the lights and entered the bathroom. She never saw my true form. Later on Rianna Jackson left alone, carrying a large plastic bag. A bag containing her remains.

This post has been edited by Nihilio: 16 September 2005 - 00:57

[Βάρδος]

Ωραίο και έξυπνα γραμμένο.

Κάπου, νομίζω, όμως, ότι σαν κάτι να μη δένει καλά. Θα σου πω παρακάτω.

Πρώτα, δύο γραμματικές μαλακίες.

My lungs were like they were going to burst. Είναι αδέξιο. My lungs felt like they were going to burst.

Rianna found her keys and open the door. Εδώ θέλεις "opened', όχι "open".



SPOILERS

Τώρα, αυτό που δε μου δένει καλά είναι το εξής. Στην αρχή, ο αφηγητής λέει κάτι πράγματα όπως: I did not know what was more frightening: Our having a murderer on our heels or the fact we were alone in the woods. Was it only the peril we felt the cause of our fear or it was the moonlit forest, dismissing the impression we were at the top of the food chain, invulnerable to any harm. Yet a predator in human guise was after us.

Μα, αφού τελικά αυτός ήταν ο δολοφόνος, πώς να αισθανόταν φόβο; Είναι σα να θέλει, επίτηδες, να κοροϊδέψει εμάς, τον αναγνώστη. Αλλά γιατί;

[Nihilio]

Όπως το σκέφτηκα εγώ, από την όλη στάση του φαίνεται υπερβολικά ψύχραιμος για την κατάσταση στην οποία βρίσκεται. Απλά προσπαθεί να σκεφτεί σαν άνθρωπος, όσο δύσκολο κι αν του είναι. Για αυτό και φιλοσοφεί τον ανθρώπινο φόβο.
Και ναι, έχει και ως σκοπό να κοροϊδέψει τον αναγνώστη

[Μελδόκιος]

Αυτή η εναλλαγή ψυχολογίας ήταν και μέσα στο όνειρο; Δηλαδή στην αρχή φοβοόσουνα και στο τέλος ήσουν δολοφόνος; Γιατί στα όνειρα είναι συνηθησμένα κάτι τέτοια. Εκεί δεν υπάρχει συνοχή.

This post has been edited by Μελδόκιος: 11 April 2005 - 12:19

[Nihilio]

Το όνειρο που είδα εντελώς κοιμισμένος άρχιζε στο τρέξιμο και τους προβληματισμούς για το πόσο ευάλωτος ήταν ο άνθρωποσ στην άγρια φύση και τελείωνε στη φάση που ο δολοφόνος πεθαίνει χτυπημένος από το αμάξι. Το τέλος μου ήρθε ενώ λαγοκοιμόμουν, αφού είχα ξυπνήσει (ναι, το έχω αυτό, ξυπνάω και μετά ξανακοιμάμαι). Τα τι είχαν γίνει πριν το τρέξιμο τα έγραψα τώρα για να υπάρχει και κάποια λογική στην ιστορία.