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I pt.2


Rikochet

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I am the Storm

I am the fury gathered

From a thousand years

Of denial

 

I am the Laugh

I feed you shame

I am the murderer

Of desire

 

I am the Traitor

The dagger-hand

I am the usurper

Of your throne

 

I am the Darkness

The shades you fear

And I hunt you

Since you were born

 

[I am the Center

Ego’s king

Hence I am empty

 

…Empty…

 

I… no more…]

Edited by Rikochet
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Τεχνικά σχόλια.

 

>I am the Laugh

Νομίζω τυπικά θα έπρεπε να πεις Laughter (but you knew that, didn't you?)

 

>And I hunt you

>Since you were born

Ακούγεται σαν αιτιολόγηση (και όχι χρονικός προσδιορισμός - "αφού γεννήθηκες, σε κηνυγώ" ≠ "από όταν γεννήθηκες, ...")· κανονικά πρέπει να βάλεις And I've been hunting you.

 

[Χέλλοου Ρίκοσετ! Γκλαντ του ση σαμ μορ άουτπουτ μπάι γιου άουτ χήερ. :p ]

 

 

Οι Μούσες μαζί σου

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Πέρα από τις τεχνικούρες του Ορφέα ( :p :p :p ) με τις οποίες θα συμφωνήσω, το ποίημα είναι δυνατό. Είσαι άνθρωπος που ζει αληθινή ζωή, με μεγάλα ποσά συναισθήματος, γι αυτό τα ποιήματά σου βγάζουν μια δύναμη, κάτι απτό. Μ'αρέσει αυτό.

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