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Bessy Told me


Nihilio

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Είδος: μαύρο χιούμορ

Βία; Ναι

Σεξ; Όχι

Αριθμός Λέξεων: 443

Αυτοτελής; Ναι

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I should have listened to Bessy. She was right. There was no way I could have gotten clear out of this mess.

“Never shit where you eat,” she had warned me.

“But you do so all the time.”

“You must listen to me,” she muttered, “I am an expert. Do not, I repeat, do not do it.”

I ignored her, no matter the ominous air bubbles coming out of her mouth and slowly drifting towards the water surface.

What? Bubbles? Yes, off-course there were bubbles, Bessy is my fucking goldfish.

Oops, pardon my French.

 

Well, back to my story, I met her one day during work. She was lovely, her deep auburn hair long, natural and shiny, soft as silk. Her car had broken down the day after and I offered to drive her home afterwards.

No, it was no damn luck. I MADE SURE the car would break down. I am no amateur.

 

I won't bore you with the details. I always found the killing a long, crude procedure. Could I just remove her scalp without all the blood and the screaming (or the choking, the vomit and the soiling in her case) I would be so happy.

Nevertheless, when I got back home, all bloody and excited, Bessy gave me a weird look.

“You tosser,” she said, “You just had to go and do it!”

“Sorry, Bess, I had to.”

I took the hair out of the nylon bag and went on my work, drying the skin and hanging them next to my other trophies.

“You damn wanker,” Bessy told me when I got back to the living room, “they will get you this time.”

I said nothing, just tossed some food in her water.

“I wasted the best months of my life with you, and you don't even care.”

I shrugged off her accusation. “Don't worry, it'll be fine.”

“They'll take you away!” she sobbed. “They'll take you away and then I'll have nobody to take care of me!”

“Calm down, baby,” I tried to comfort her. “Everything will be fine.”

 

It wasn't, but you know already. The police came in, they found the hair. They suspected me for a long time, or so they said. The last kill only narrowed down the search and they got to me. Screw them, I say. It is their fucking surveillance satellites that got me. Big fucking Brother got me for them.

 

Nevertheless, Bessy was right. I shouldn't have given them excuse to come and search at my place. Next time, Mr. DA, I'll listen to the fish.

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Είναι το πρώτο εδώ μέσα που διαβάζω στα αγγλικά. Καλό, έξυπνο. Σαν απόσπασμα είναι, και όχι λόγω μεγέθους. Γιατί δεν το κάνεις μεγαλύτερο;

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Γιατί, κε Ντίνο μας; Είναι τόσο μικρό, που, και να το μεγαλώσει, πάλι φλασάκι θα είναι.

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