Elsanor Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 (edited) Once upon a time, there was a great kingdom of Men grounded upon the very summit of a tall mountain. The stone walls enclosed a fair and joyous little town that housed, apart from human people, many sylvan races, like elves and pixies and sprites and gnomes, all living in harmony and peace. Situated at the centre of the grand castle, a magnificent tower, decorated with gold and silver and shinning white pearls, rose and thrust into the lower clouds. Many windowed it was, and from its high balconies many singing voices could be heard, chanting ancient and forsaken rhythms, accompanied by the sweet music of harps and flutes. Atop the tower walls and on many winding flags, the kingdom's device was painted; with many bright and living-like colours and drawn with great skill and care by a thousand artists: a white winged unicorn before a green tapestry of changing hues. Housed at the highest room of the king's tower, lay the sun-lighted chambers of the royal princess, Miria. Being the only daughter of the noble king Thalanos and the courteous queen Lamathilia, she was the only heir to inherit her father's throne. So lovely her dark green eyes were, pinpointing her radiant face framed by the flaming red halo of her hair, that each man to look upon her was to stand enchanted, as if by spell, by her fairness. So blessed she was; blessed, yes but also cursed, for twenty summers she had beheld, more than needed to name her of age, but of all the young princes she had met, none had held her heart and mind in sway, and her father was juster than force upon her a marriage just for politics. And so she waited, for she hoped that her heart's chosen, the one that would claim her love would be brought by fate before her, sooner or later. * * * * * A bright day was dawning and the young esquire of the king was bathing the royal black stallion that was to bore his majesty on a ride to the nearby forest. Nereth's eye barely left the noble beast, and afforded a mere glance at the highest window of the tower, amidst the milky white clouds. There, for just a moment he caught a glimpse of fair Miria and his thundering heartbeat nearly tore his chest. O, how much he loved the maiden! Alas, he reckoned he had no chance of ever being able to just hold her in a loving embrace. Sighing, he carried on his present errand and the king's horse made a small sound as if to encourage his human friend. A little time had passed, and he was nearly over, when desire overtook him. A tear escaped his eye, running down his cheek and forming a glittering path, as he silently spoke his thoughts aloud: "O, lady of my heart, how I wisheth I could be an eagle so that I could fly to the flaming, all-consuming radiance thou, like a sun, emit!" "That is very good, Nereth!" he thought he heard a heavenly voice utter beside him. "Your lady-love must be blessed indeed to have such fair words spoken to her!" Turning slowly, as if in dream, he beheld princess Miria smiling kindly at him. He just could not bare it, trembling from the mere embarassement: she had just spoken his name, and highly approved of what was meant for her! All he could do in order not to show his total loss for words -as if his reddened , like a blossomed flaming flower, face did not speak for it- was to formally bow very low to express his loyalty and devotion. Miria replied with just a nod of her head, a movement which let loose some red curls in front of her face. "Well, is my horse ready? I am to ride in my father's place today. Will you accompany me?" He could not believe it! Now she was asking of him to guide her in the woods! Enforcing his wits, and employing his social skills, he afforded a courteous smile and politely replied: "I shall be honoured, lady." He quickly placed the saddles and reins on their horses, and turned to aid the lovely princess in riding her stallion, but she hopped up with ease and gave an impish grin at the still with surprise esquire. "Come now Nereth," she said, "try to keep up with me!", and with that she hastily ridded away. Nereth, still trying to comprehend so much in so little a time, awakened from his thoughts and burst into movement. They were long gone, galloping like the wind towards the Old Forest. High on his tower, king Thalanos, eyeing the riding pair, could only smile with contempt, as he went away from the window and was lost from sight into the great tower... Αρχικά να σας πω ότι το κειμενάκι το έγραψα πριν αρκετό καιρό και σας ζητώ να μου συγχωρήσετε τα όποια ορθογραφικά και γραμματικά λάθη που τυχόν μου ξέφυγαν. Θυμάμαι είχα κάτσει και το έγραψα τελείως αυτόματα χωρίς να σκεφτώ κάποιο πλάνο ή ιστορία. Απλώς μου βγείκε έτσι και έκανα λίγες διορθώσεις από το αρχικό κείμενο για να το διατηρήσω όπως ήταν. Όπως βλέπετε έγραψα στα Αγγλικά και όχι στα Αμερικάνικα για αντίδραση! Αυτό το κείμενο μαζί με δύο υποτυπώδεις συνέχειές του το έχω στείλει και στο rpg.gr. Από εκεί το πήρα αυτούσιο, για να μου δώσετε την κριτική σας. Τις συνέχειες δεν τις βάζω εδώ γιατί τις έγραψα μόνο και μόνο για να το συνεχίσω, δεν ήταν με καμία δύναμη αυθεντικές. Edited March 23, 2004 by Elsanor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsanor Posted March 23, 2004 Author Share Posted March 23, 2004 Χμμμ παρατηρώ ότι οι παράγραφοι δε φαίνονται καθόλου έτσι όπως το έγραψα εδώ. Και δε μπορώ να το κάνω και edit. Sorry για τη χάλια εμφάνιση... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunk Elf Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Δεν το διάβασα ακόμα αλλά γιατί δε μπορείς να το κάνεις edit?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsanor Posted March 23, 2004 Author Share Posted March 23, 2004 Προφανώς γιατί είμαι βλάκας και δεν είδα το κουμπάκι "edit"... Ελπίζω τώρα να φαίνεται καλύτερα. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Βάρδος Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Το διάβασα. Και, όντως, τραβάει να γράψεις συνέχεια. Είσαι fan του Σέξπηρ, παρεμπιπτώντως; Σεξπηρικό κάπως έμοιαζε το όλο κομμάτι, και παραμυθένιο γενικά. Αυτό εδώ and her father was juster than force upon her a marriage just for politics θα μπορούσες να το είχες γράψει ...and her father did not think it just to force upon her a political marriage... Απλά, μια πρόταση. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsanor Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 Όχι ιδιαίτερα, εφόσον δεν έχω διαβάσει αρκετά (ή όσο θα ήθελα). Απλώς τη μέρα που το έγραψα ήμουν σε μία τέτοια παραμυθένια φάση. Ευχαριστώ και για την πρόταση! Μου άρεσε όμως πολύ το "juster than force", και δεν προτίμησα να χρησιμοποιήσω κάποιο επίθετο όπως το "political" επειδή χρησιμοποιείται αρκετά σήμερα και ήθελα να δώσω ένα αρχαιόμορφο τρόπο γραφής στο κείμενο για να φτιάξω την επιθυμητή ατμόσφαιρα! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nienna Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Μου άρεσε! Είναι γλυκό και οι λέξεις καμπανίζουν όμορφα... Και μ' αρέσουν οι ρομαντικές ιστορίες. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
month Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Σήμερα είναι η μέρα που πέρνω αμπάριζα ότι βρω και διαβάζω... Ωραίο, μου άρεσε, τελείως παραμύθι. Το έχεις τελιώσει, ή η συνέχεια σταματάει σε παρεμφερές σημείο; π΄νατως λέει σαν ιστορία. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsanor Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 Είχα προσπαθήσει να το προχωρήσω αλλά στην πορεία κατάλαβα ότι δε θα μου έβγαινε. Καλύτερα να μείνει έτσι, μία αρχή χωρίς συνέχεια. Ο καθένας είναι ελεύθερος να το συνεχίσει με τη φαντασία του. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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