choices and wishes

[Sonya]

Απολογούμαι εκ των προτέρων για τυχόν ορθογραφικά/συντακτικά λάθη. Το γράφω από νετ καφέ και δεν διαθέτει λεξικό...

 

It was very late now, or very early in the morning. They were resting, all of them, a few hours before the battle that would determine their lives. Everyone else was asleep. Everyone else was human. She was not. She needed no more rest. She never slept. Elven heritage. Sometimes, when she watched her human husband sleep, she thought it a curse, she envied the peacefulness of his expression, his dreams. Not this time. At least, not completely.

 

Nireniel looked around. She saw Leopold, once competitor, enemy, even murderer and now friend, a cleric of Kelemvor. She saw Bavurd, his bodyguard, a loyal, trustworthy and surprisingly intelligent barbarian. She saw Kavenia, her husband's bodyguard, a stern, principaled, female monk. She had no bodyguard of her own. She claimed that she needed none. Pride, always pride. She sat up, turned her head and looked right beside her, where her love, her husband, her king, her whole life slept.

 

Droidlock... she remembered the first time they met, a few years ago. He knew nothing of her, save that she was the princess of the High Forest, she knew everything about him. He looked so grave, yet so mischievious... His hair was of the finest gold, long to his shoulders and straight, caught in a ponytail. His eyes sparkling green, his gaze ensnaring. He looked so handsome, without trying to do so. She had loved him at this very moment, even though she didn't reveal it untill much later. She wondered how many times she had told him that she loved him. Not many. Not even few. Once, maybe twice. Always pride...

 

The high queen of Cormyr stood still, her gaze, full of the tenderness she dared not speak aloud, fixed on Droidlock's face and remembered.

 

They walked out of the temple of Heironius. All three of them, Droidlock, Leopold and herself, knew that it was she and she alone who had managed to retrieve the jar that contained the precious ashes, it was she who had claimed it and taken it from the very hand of Vzoul. She was filled with pride, every step she took was majestical, her head was highly domed, starring straight at the setting sun. She did not smile. She did not have to. She acted as if this achievement was nothing of great importance, just a small deed, trivial. At the stairs she stopped and turned her head to look at Droidlock.

"My lord, I believe that the first part of your quest is now complete. Shall we proceed to the next?"

Droidlock starred at her, amazed. He too had fell in love with her at their first meeting, he too had concealed it behind scornful comments. She looked so beautiful that moment, her black hair shinning almost blond as the last rays of the sun fell on her back, her bright blue eyes looking dark, yet still sparkling in the shadow. She looked almost divine, like an incarnation of Mystra herself. Before he had the time to realize what he was doing, he had kneeled down and taken her slender hand between his own rough hands.

"Oh, my fair lady, the sun is rising in your eyes."

He was asking her hand in marriage, speaking the formal words of old times. She had to use all her willpower to remain calm. She accepted.

 

How many things had happened since that day... their wedding, Bane's curse on their offspring, their fight against his chosen ones, Droidlock's surrender to the evil ways to save the life of their child, her murder by Leopold's hand, her resurrection and memory loss performed by Mystra herself, Droidlock's and Leopold's deaths by the hands of the clerics of Mystra and Kelemvor, her efforts to rule Cormyr in her dead husband's stead while carrying his son, her struggle and success in bringing him back from the dead, the birth of their child, Leopold's coming back from the dead to rejoin with his beloved king, her second pregnancy to their twin daughters, her early and urgent labour and now their final adventure, which, if successful, would turn Droidlock and Leopold to gods. She had been asked if she would join them to divinity. She had refused. She was a chosen of Mystra, loyal to her beyond everything else and did not wish to be anything else. She did not want to be worshipped, only loved and only by him, only by Droidlock.

 

She would never know, no one would ever see this to tell her, but at this moment she looked more beautiful than ever. Wisdom had replaced the sparks in her eyes, shadowed by a sorrow she would never admit. All she wanted all her life was hers. Against her father's will, she had become an adventurer, she had married the one she wanted, not the one she had to, she had known the love and respect of the people she ruled, she had become a chosen of her beloved goddess, she had even spoken in person with Mystra, had earned her love and respect, she had three children, powerful friends and enemies, her name and deeds had become songs for the bards of the entire Faerun, she had travelled to other planes, she she had felt absolute love and yet... her look was one of grief, as she watched her dear husband's face while he slept. Tears gathered in her blue eyes, trickled on her face and dripped on her hand. Inside her head, the memory of her mother, her words at their parting, when she left the High Forest never to return, when she told Merindel that her life was now beggining, that she would make all her dreams come true, took shape.

 

Nireniel, you are so much like me, my child... I too chased my dreams and they led me here, to this place that you call a prison. You chase freedom of heart, yet your heart itself is your prison and there is no key to unlock this cage... You will weep over your choices one day, my beloved... The path you have chosen will bring to you unbearable happiness and unbearable pain. I lament for your innocence and your wisdom. But you are no longer a child and you will grow much older sooner than you think. My farewell is this advice: no matter what, always stay true to your heart.

 

She wept now, over all these choices she had made and yet did not regret. For once, just this once, she opened her heart. She silently created a globe that would conceal herself and her husband from the others and prayed for the miracle she desired to be performed. It was the law of Cormyr that only a male human could be king and the son she had given to Droidlock was a half-elf. She whispered:

"I love you, Droidlock Obarskyr. I wish I had told you this every day of our common life. Maybe then we would be enough for you, enough to make you happy. If I had told you how much I love you, I wonder, would you be content with just what you had? Or would ambition still lead you to claim divinity and leave me and our children alone? Would we, could we ever be enough for you? Sometimes I wish we were not adventurers, king and queen, chasers of great deeds, but only a man and a woman, plain peasants, content with simple lives. If ever our pride could be satisfied with humility..."

Droidlock stirred and murmured in his sleep. She moved towards him and touched his face.

"Wake up, king of Cormyr, wake up, my love. Tomorrow you may be a god, but tonight you are still a man, my man. And while you are still mortal, Droidlock Obarskyr, you will give me an heir to your throne, you will give me another son."

Droidlock opened his eyes, saw his wife's face above his own and was puzzeled by her expression, by the marks the tears had left on her beautiful face.

"Nireniel? What's wrong?"

"Everything. So wrong and yet so right..."

She put her lips on his and kissed him more tenderly than she ever had. When the party awoke, some time later, the globe had disappeared, Droidlock and Nireniel were both up and ready to go. The king of Cormyr kept throwing puzzled looks at his wife. She was silent and her hand kept moving towards her belly, inside which her last choice, her last wish, her last miracle was growing...

[Amandel]

Πολύ ενδιαφέρουσα dnd-ιστορία, είναι δυνατή, συναισθηματική και flooded with memories. Αυτό είναι καλό γιατί κάποιος που δεν γνωρίζει το τι πέρασαν οι χαρακτήρες, παίρνει μια ιδέα, και καταλαβαίνει την έντονη φόρτιση της Nireniel. O τρόπος γραφής είναι αναλυτικός και δεν αφήνει και πολλά αναπάντητα ερωτήματα για την ιστορία, αν και υπάρχει πολύ background πίσω από το όλο story.

 

Εντάξει, ξέρω και κάτι παραπάνω για αυτό το campaign, αλλά το παραπάνω κομμάτι δίνει μια καλή ιδέα για την ιστορία!

 

Μια ένσταση μόνο, ίσως θα μπορούσες να του βάλεις λίγο διαφορετικό τίτλο!

Edited October 9, 2005 by Amandel

[Nienna]

Την θυμόμουν καλά την ιστορία, κι όλα όσα έχει από πίσω, σ'έχω ακούσει να την εξιστορείς... Και γραμμένη κρατάει τη δύναμή της. Της λείπει βέβαια το φώς με τ'οποίο την στεφάνωνε η φωνή σου, αλλά έχει δικό της φώς, μέσα στις επιλογές, πίσω από τις γραμμές, ανάμεσα... Ο καθένας μας έχει το κλειδί του στα χέρια του. Είναι συγκινητικό για μένα να βλέπω ανθρώπους να κάνουν δύσκολα πράγματα με αυτο. Μεγάλοι άνθρωποι, μεγάλα πράγματα, μεγάλη χαρά, μεγάλη λύπη...

 

Πολύ όμορφο,

σ'ευχαριστώ.

 

Να, πάρε ένα απόσπασμα, το τέλος από ένα ποίημά μου, που θα σου πει κάτι - που ήδη ξέρεις βέβαια - για μεγάλους ανθρώπους:

 

"[...]

Πνίξε το γιατί.

Γιατί μπορείς.

Γιατί όταν πονάς

στα μάτια σου λάμπει η δύναμη."

 

(κάποια μέρα θα σου δείξω και το υπόλοιπο ποίημα αν θέλεις)

[Sonya]

Ναι, προφανώς θέλω...

[Balidor]

Τι να πρωτοπώ... για το ύφος σου ;;;

Για το πως χρησιμοποιείς την γλώσσα;

Η για το πολύ όμορφο campaign σας ;;;;

 

Γουέλ Ντάν, την ευχαριστήθηκα τρομερά τη ιστορία σας (πιο πολυ απ'ότι φανταζεστε) !!!!

[tetartos]

A very touching story!

 

What I understood: Just before the final adventure that will make her human husband a god, a female elf remembers their life together and focuses on the simple pleasure of them being a couple.

 

What worked well: A very sentimental narration, it really touched me! The title was very 'existential' and the ending, however open-ended, showed promise for the character. Many important feelings/traits were beautifully described throughout the passage, pride, responsibility, love. The 'human' part of heroship was deeply explored. The marriage proposal scene was marvelous!

 

What didn't work so well: Quite a lot of names for my limited memory Seems part of a story, without a clean ending, for my taste. A lot of thinking took place with no action. Her relationship with her children was not stressed, something inappropriate for a mother! People coming back from the dead didn't fit in the world you are describing, at least as I imagined it!

 

Suggestion: Maybe simplifying some of the plot wouldn't hurt the story.

[Sonya]

Τέταρτε, μιλάω ελληνικά. :Ρ Η ιστορία είναι στ' αγγλικά, γιατί αποτελεί κάποιο είδος "περίληψης" μιας τριλογίας (η οποία γράφτηκε, καταστράφηκε μαζί μ' έναν σκληρό δίσκο και ξαναγράφεται σε αργούς ρυθμούς) που είναι επίσης στ' αγγλικά, αλλά αυτό δεν σημαίνει ότι και τα σχόλια πρέπει να είναι στ' αγγλικά. :Ρ

 

Είναι το ρεζουμέ ενός campain d&d, διάρκειας τριών μηνών (λέγοντας "τρεις μήνες", εννοώ ότι ήμσταν κλεισμένοι σ' ένα σπίτι επί τρεις μήνες και το 90% του χρόνου μας καταναλωνόταν παίζοντας) απ' τα μάτια του χαρκτήρα μου (έπαιζα την Nireniel). Οπότε τα παράπονά σου για νεκραναστάσεις και λοιπά σεναριακά, στον dm.

 

Κάνεις ένα πολύ σωστό σχόλιο: η Nireniel δεν κάνει λόγο για τα παιδιά της εκεί. Μα δεν θα της λείψουν τα παιδιά της. Τον άντρα της πονάει, αυτόν θα χάσει την στιγμή που θα γίνει θεός (το ότι τον βοήθησε να γίνει είναι άσχετο με το θέμα). Τα παιδιά της, που σχεδόν δεν πρόλαβαν να τα ζήσουν μαζί, θα είναι μαζί της, πρίγκιπες και πριγκίπισσες της Cormyr (καλά, δεν έγιναν έτσι τα πράγματα, αλλά ας μείνουμε σ' αυτό. :Ρ). Εκείνη, όμως, την στιγμή, η ζωή που αφηγείται αφορά εκείνον και μόνο. Όλοι οι υπόλοιποι, όλα τα άλλα είναι στο περιθώριο.

 

Ξέρεις, μερικές φορές, το επείγον κι όχι το σημαντικότερο καθορίζει τις σκέψεις και τις πράξεις μας...

[Tiessa]

Πόσο πικρό να ζούμε τη ζωή μας, στερημένοι από την αλήθεια, μόνο και μόνο για να μη 'θίξουμε' την περηφάνια μας, την υπόληψή μας, τη θέση μας, το χώρο που κλεινόμαστε για να δείξουμε κάτι άλλο απ' αυτό που μας συμβαίνει στ' αλήθεια. Τελικά αυτό που ζούμε είναι μια άλλη ζωή και όχι η δική μας.

 

Διάβασα το απόσπασμα, διάβασα τα σχόλια, θαυμάζω το ότι ένα dnd παιχνίδι μπορεί να καταλήξει σ' ένα τόσο εξαίτερο αποτέλεσμα.

Well done!

[Sonya]

Some games are a little more than just games.

 

In any case, I heartily thank you. Ήταν μια ιστορία απ' αυτές που σημάδεψαν την ζωή μου όσο την έγραφα και για πολλά χρόνια μετά. Από κάποιες απόψεις, ίσως τελικά είναι καλύτερα που χάθηκε (αλλά αυτή η άποψη, προφανώς, δεν είναι η δική μου :Ρ)