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Ineffective


Rikochet

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Observe

what remains on the ground;

ineffective sound,

unable to contain -

unable to soothe -

your voice is sound,

thus another step

towards decline.

 

Clever/moronic absolutes

meet before their ends -

the smiles of hundreds force

my mouth open -

it does -

I retch up words

Are you happy now?

 

Blood that looks like blood,

and smells like heart -

and beats like a heart -

thumpHeart

thumpHeart

thumpHeart

A heartache is born:

Irrelevant.

 

Thorns are formed

they rake my skin

they remind me of pain

they -

 

never where so complex -

Chaos was supposed

to lick Order from

the wounds you've bled.

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Οι λέξεις που έχω να σου αντιγυρίσω σε αυτό το "λεκτικό πείραμα", είναι λίγες και φτωχές μπροστά του.

 

Από τις σπάνιες φορές που την πρώτη φορά που διαβάζω κάτι το διαβάζω ταυτόχρονα και δυνατά να το ακούσω, να το καταλάβω καλύτερα.

 

 

Είναι χάρισμα αυτό που έχεις Riko, να μην το αφήσεις να πάει χαμένο.

Edited by Nienor
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Συμφωνώ σε όλα με την Νίενορ Ρίκο. Έχεις ταλέντο, και ιδιαίτερα τα αγγλικά ποιήματά σου έχουν πολύ έξυπνη δουλειά πάνω στο θέμα 'ήχος'.

Η τελευταία στροφή είναι υπέροχη, πραγματικά φοβερή σύλληψη (μιλάω για τους τρεις τελευταίους στίχους).

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