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Dreary Feelings, New Beginnings


RaspK

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Scribbled on Paper

 

I love you all so much,

and do I miss you so:

too long it seems like

it has been since last

I've seen you...

 

Where are you all,

my dear friends?

 

Somewhere in an office,

behind a desk or two,

or maybe somewhere else,

I know; yet, I disdain

what keeps you

far from reach...

 

No, not your pleasures;

you have a right to those, do you not?

 

And I do not hate you

or take it personally...

At least,

not anymore.

 

Yet, so dreary it is,

this loneliness...

 

 

The Storm within

 

There have been moments

that I felt like shrieking to the skies,

or when I held back tears, before;

yet this year's been so full of ups and downs

that I'm reminded of the seas and tides,

as I've seen them when I almost drowned.

 

And thus it has been twice so far,

twice have I almost had my life ended

in waters that bore so much rejoice,

not unlike the joys I've had...

 

And just as when the waves crashed and fell,

my heart has raced, so many tears I've shed,

yet I feel no hatred for the seas,

and my heart still yearns for them.

 

It must be ludicrous for all those who know me,

or maybe even incomprehensible, frustrating,

seeing me act like I do...

I do not know, people, beloved friends:

at times, I cannot even comprehend myself.

 

And, worst of all,

I do not want anyone to read these lines

and think I am accusing him or her,

or regret anything, in fact.

Life's become better for me:

I do not wither like the rocks by the shore,

rather, I grow like the shoreline...

 

Don't we all?

 

 

Scripta Manend

 

So, to all those who come to read these words,

you have my gratitude...

 

I am not alone - not any more, really;

not since you've all read them.

 

Life's a strange thing, in the end,

and we should cherish what we have

and still strive for what we want!

 

You guessed it right: as long as I live,

I will try and find all the goodness I can.

 

And if I cannot see the people I love,

I'll do my best to keep my calm

and wait for them to come.

Edited by RaspK FOG
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Σκέφτομαι ότι αυτό το τρίπτυχο πάσχει σε κάποιο βαθμό από τον όγκο του: less is more, λένε, άλλωστε. Καμιά άποψη επ' αυτού;

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Δε νομίζω ότι η έλλειψη σχολίων έχει να κάνει με το μέγεθος τόσο, όσο με τις συγκυρίες και ίσως και τα ποιήματα.

Το Scribbled on Paper για παράδειγμα είναι μια μετριότατη προσπάθεια, πολύ πεζή για να φτάσει βαθιά στον αναγνώστη, πετάς και αυτό το “πίσω από κανα-δυο γραφεία” σε ένα σημείο που νοηματικά χάνει πολύ και το αποτελειώνεις.

Το The Storm within είναι κάπως καλύτερο, αλλά παραμένει πολύ προσωπικό, σαν σελίδα από ημερολόγιο παρά ως ποίημα: του λείπει η φαντασία

Κάτι ανάλογο ισχύει για το νοηματικό επίλογο Scripta Manend που είναι ειλικρινής αλλά παρόλα αυτά συνεχίζει να του λείπει κάτι. Τα ποιήματα είναι πολύ άμεσα μεν, “πεζά” δε, λείπει η τόλμη, η τρέλα, το διαφορετικό

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Εχμ, Μιχάλη, είπα ότι το ποίημα πάσχει από τον όγκο του, όχι τα σχόλια. Για τα δικά σου τώρα, δεν μπορώ να πω ότι είμαι απολύτως σύμφωνος με κάποιες παρατηρήσεις, αλλά καταλαβαίνω τι εννοείς και συνολικά έχεις δίκιο. Είναι ένα ακόμα από εκείνα τα πράγματα που θέλω να φτιάξω και άλλη τους εκδοχή, όπως έκαναν κάποτε με τις μουσικές συνθέσεις. Θα δείξει.

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