Why God Works in Mysterious Ways

[Ivan Gig Nth Yuk]

Όνομα Συγγραφέα: Απόστολος (Ivan Gig Nth Yuk)

Είδος: χιουμοριστική φαντασία

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Αυτοτελής: Ναι

Σχόλια: Η ιστορία βασίζεται σε μια έκθεση του Smullyan στο βιβλίο του "This Book Needs no Title" (βασισμένη στο άρθρο "Brain and Will" του Mackay) στην οποία παρουσιάζεται η ιδέα ότι ένα ον δε μπορεί να είναι ταυτόχρονα παντογνώστης και ισχυρογνώμων-πεισματάρης. Είναι γραμμένη στα αγγλικά.

 

 

 

 

 

Why God Works in Mysterious Ways

 

 

 

 

Once upon a time, there was a God. And He was stubborn. Indeed, one could argue that all His greatness (because He was a great God) derived from his ruthless stubbornness. The moment He decided to do something, no force in any known world could change His mind. Now, He also had a firm belief that He wasn't omniscient. But more of this later. In any case, one day, while He was wandering around, He listened to a plea from one of His most faithful believers.

 

 

 

“Dear God”, the believer said. “I am in great distress. For I am afraid I have lost my way. I am no longer certain of right and wrong, of what I should pursue in my life, of Your Will. So, I ask You, with Your omniscient power, to tell me what is the path I must follow.”

 

The God listened to this man's cry for help and decided to appear to him in a vision. “My dear child”, He said, “I am terribly sorry for your problems, but I cannot help you. For I am not omniscient”.

 

Upon hearing that, the man despaired. “Oh, mighty and powerful God!”, he cried, “if what You say is true, then I fear You have led me to an even greater distress. For all my life, I believed that You were there to protect us from future harm in this cruel universe. Although we, at times, felt alone, I was always certain that You, with your infinite wisdom and knowledge, would have been there to guide us. But now I am at a loss. I am not sure I can bare with this emotion! Forgive my insolence, but I have to ask You: Are You certain that You are not omniscient?”

 

The God paused for a moment and then answered as calmly as He could: “Indeed I am. You see, I am stubborn, so I cannot be omniscient. For if I could know what I was to do, I would do the exact opposite to spite my fate (I cannot stand the feeling of being predictable). And that would lead to the logical conclusion that I wouldn't have been omniscient. Therefore, I cannot be both stubborn and omniscient.”

 

The man fell silent for a long time.

 

It was obvious to the God that His devotee was deeply depressed. The God cared for all the universes He had created so He decided to help. “Listen”, He said, “my child. I will try to get rid of my stubbornness so that I can be omniscient and guide you through the hardships of your lives” and without losing a moment He disappeared to pursue his goal.

 

 

 

The God thought for a long time, trying to figure how to get rid of His nasty habit. It is well known that such a manner is a thing difficult to get rid of, and for a manner that one has subjected himself to for an eternity it is usually considered an impossibility. But the God was stubborn and nothing could stop Him from trying as hard as He could. But all his efforts to change his character were in vain. In great desperation the God tried to find out why getting rid of his stubbornness was something a great divine being such as Himself was unable to accomplish. And soon enough He reached a disturbing conclusion: He understood that in order to get rid of a nasty habit like that He needed to really put his mind into doing so (something He could do because of his stubbornness) which in this specific situation led to the contradiction that the only way to not be stubborn is by being stubborn. But even though the conclusion was devastating to Him, the God wasn't ready to give up. And because He, apart from a caring deity, was also a very humble one, He decided to seek another God who was known to be omniscient. “An omniscient being is surely the only way I may solve this conundrum” He thought to Himself and started his journey to meet that God.

 

 

 

The omniscient God was taking a nap when the stubborn God arrived.

 

“Is anyone here?” He asked.

 

“Over here” answered the other God, still half asleep.

 

“Are You the omniscient God?”

 

“Indeed I am.” He said yawning.

 

The stubborn God really didn't like that attitude. “I don't really think that You are an omniscient being. If You were, You would have known of my arrival and You wouldn't have been sleeping. I'll tell You what”, the stubborn God continued, “I have a universe here in my pocket, for which I will decide its fate right now. I want You to tell me what I will choose.”

 

“Well”, answered the omniscient God, “I'm afraid that would be impossible.”

 

“Aha!” screamed the first God. “I knew You were a fake!”

 

“Let me finish” said the other God still tired. “It would be impossible because then You would choose to do the opposite of what I will say just to prove I am wrong. It's your fault I can't, really.”

 

“I still don't believe You”, muttered the God.

 

“Now, don't be stubborn. I'll show You that I am omniscient. I will write in this piece of parchment what your actions will be and I will give it to You as long as You promise not to take a look before You decide the fate of that world.”

 

And so it happened. The stubborn God tried as hard as He could to confuse the omniscient deity but He failed. The parchment wrote “You will destroy the universe, despite the fact You care for it in Your attempt to confuse me”.

 

The stubborn God was amazed. “This is incredible! You really are omniscient. But answer me this. How is it possible that one moment You weren't able to see the future because of my stubbornness and the next, when I did as You asked, You were?”

 

The omniscient God smiled and answered: “I was always able to predict what You could do. What I couldn't and still cannot do is to express to You Your future actions. There is a difference between what can be expressed and what can be known! But anyway, this conversation is beginning to tire me. I would tell You that indeed it is impossible for You to be omniscient. I'm sorry.”

 

 

 

The stubborn God was crushed. He had traveled long and in vain. While He was leaving, He suddenly had a revelation: “Wait!” He said to the omniscient God. “How can my stubbornness be a matter of what can be expressed to You but a matter of omniscience to me?!”

 

The omniscient God was unable to restrain himself from laughing.

 

“You lied to me!” yelled the stubborn God and continued, “Why would You lie to me?”

 

It took some time for the omniscient God to stop laughing and then He said: “Well, I knew You were going to figure it out anyway, and your expression when I told You that You were helpless was hilarious. No harm done, my dear friend. Indeed I (or any other omniscient being) can grant You omniscience; but bear in mind that this is only possible because You are stubborn.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Because in order to be omniscient You have to never use your omniscience. Indeed, when You decide to look at what is to be, You see everything at once. Therefore, the moment You use it, your stubbornness will compel You to prove it wrong. Thus using your omniscience even once will make You lose it. But I know You are stubborn enough to never use it. So I grant it to You.” And so it happened and the stubborn God became omniscient.

 

 

 

The God hastily returned to His dear believer to announce the news in a vision. “Fear not, my child”, the God said, “for I have gained omniscience!”

 

Then the man fell down to his knees in exhilaration and prayed: “Oh, great and omniscient God. I plead You: Show me the right path, the path I must follow.”

 

“Well,” replied the God, “I'm afraid I cannot.”

Edited August 12, 2009 by Ivan Gig Nth Yuk

[Guest Anime_Overlord]

Φοβερά ειρωνικό αν και δεν κατάλαβα γιατί από πείσμα θα προσπαθούσε κάποιος να αλλάξει το μέλλον από αυτό που είναι. Κι αν απλά είχε πείσμα να το αφήσει ως έχει;